LIFE AS I KNOW IT

30 and Enjoying Life

Category: Life as a Catholic Man

How Real Are You

I think about this often especially with the different Interactions I have and those who I come across. For the most I feel I can sense a fake a long mile away, if I don’t like you you’ll probably pick up on that by the end of the day if not by however more distant I become from that person. I know, it’s pretty selfish and self centered but if I font like you I’m not going to pretend everything is a go. But what I take from this is something much bigger, something I have to really work on, I’m not being true to myself and to who God is calling me to be. Side thought, don’t you hate when people whisper three feet away from you, you know they are talking crap, but seriously tell like it is, stop being fake. Alright that’s two things I have to work on, I can be a jerk.

So this blog post has really become another rant, I guess what I’m trying to get at is that I need to tighten up the loose ends, sand down the rough edges I still gave to work on and allow myself to let others be themselves even though it comes across as being really fake.

So brings me back to my title, how real are you? How real are you with people around you?

Life Can always FLIP.

The last couple of days have not been the easiest of days. It’s that helpless feeling where I should be home with my family during hard times. I think to myself, why does God do what he does, place struggles in our lives and knock me out like a heavy weight boxer, one day I’m up and ready, the next I’m on the floor with a blank stare.  I wish I can be a little more honest and type what I’m really feeling but it’s to confidential and all I have right now is the opportunity to surrender to God and say, “Here I am. What do I. How do I contain my emotion? Help me be a bigger MAN in this moment of struggle.” My life has just been flipped, now what. I pray. I listen. I stand still. I take a breath and look and Jesus straight in the eye. I will. This is your will. I’m not alone. I will. I will. I will. So, Lord, you’ve flipped my life around once again and I thank for giving me the words I need in order to be the MAN my family needs right now. Lord give the confidence to be that MAN. LORD grant me the peace of heart to do your WILL. Help me to love unconditionally. Help me to know you more.

Being Served

So I just had knee surgery on Wednesday for a torn ACL, thank you flag football for that, 30 years without any injuries and here I am with my very first surgery, the nurses were actually impressed. I’m little pain, thank you Jesus for that and thank you to all my family and friends for prayers and support. So as I’m laying here on my back, I was reflecting on my day earlier and I was a little frustrated myself, I’m the kind of man who is willing to step up to the plate, willing to take charge, a man who is willing to serve anyone and everyone. You probably noticed where I’m going with this and it’s tough. I’m realizing how hard it’s going to be for me to be served and ask to be helped. As my good friend who cooked me an amazing dinner tonight said, hey you do a lot, this is your time to be served, something like that. I mean wow, I’ve being humbled and its only the second day, only a couple days into Easter. I guess you can say this is my opportunity to rise up with Christ and reflect even more so on his passion and resurrection. I’m in pain, not as much as he was. He picked up his cross, I have to pick up my weight and make sure I don’t fall. He fell three times, I sit and think of his perseverance. So as I continue to recover, not only am I humbled by a God who loves me but who sacrificed his son, I’m humbled by Christ and by my family and friends who have stepped up to help me in these next couple of weeks. It’s going to be difficult, seriously it is. My manliness is going to be tested, but I’m up for receiving and allowing The Lord to work in my life always but especially in next several weeks and months as I recover. That’s all for now. God Bless

Charred

Why charred? I decided tonight that i would search and read through Ezekial, looking for a certain scripture verse on the heart and pride, instead I stumbled upon Chapter, now, I’m no theologian, even though I studied theology for three years, my mind can’t grasp it all, I just have not developed that side of the brain as old as I am now 29 “the end of the world right?” we’ll not so much. Yes I’m getting older, I definitely have my wise and not so wise moments. But as I read this verse, the question was asked, “when the fire has consumed both ends of it, and the middle of it is charred, is it useful for anything? …..can it ever be used anything!” As i reflect I think about how easy it is to have to much on your plate, how easy it is not to rely on the lord and expect one self to be the main root. What a reminder that is, that at any moment, you can dry up so fast that any little spark would burn you down to the ground, leaving nothing but ashes, if your lucky, yea you might get charred, but that doesn’t really leave you with much to work with. The immediate image I get is darkness with little pieces of flames burning underneath, slowly breaking down each element to the ground. But the courageous thing about God is that he believes in us, he believes in me, even though I might not see it all the time, the Lord if willing to take a risk. I’m I willing to see God face to face or I’m I to afraid that I would quickly burn before him. Interesting. I pray that I may be able to embrace the life and opportunity God has put before me. Amen.

Hope in All in things

As I reflected this morning during prayer, I was reminded of how strong the Lords love is for me. It’s a constant reminder that i’m not alone. As my life unfolds before me, I thank God , as I should, for everything in my life. It’s difficult, especially when those areas of thankfulness are things that allow  me to grow or in other words, make me grow. Now, its funny, I usually don’t speak about many of these things as I”m typing them now, I really do not understand what it is. I don’t enjoy sharing my thoughts, feelings, emotions, yet, this is what I’m thankful for. I’ve come to understand  the areas in my life that I need to fully give myself to the Lord, especially in the most difficult of times. I definitely have fears that I need to overcome, I have many adventures and goals that I want to pursue, but I’m not getting any younger, just older. With becoming older also comes many responsibilities to have a plan of action to TRUST when I don’t want to.

Phil 4:6

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God.

So as I continue to pursue this deep relationship with the Lord, hurdle after hurdle, fault after fault, may I come to understand fully the grace, mercy, and love he has for me. May I come before him in every thought, in every work, in every relationship I have, and may the Eucharist be fully alive within my soul, that a desire for more of the Lord reign over me.

Adrian