Lost in Transition

by Adrian Flores

It’s pretty late. My brain won’t stop thinking and I have to get up in 3.5 hours to get my ass to the gym. Now, what I’m writing about today. What do I need to vent, what do I need to process. Well for beginners, it’s been a little under a year since my last post and I seriously need to make it a point to write, I mean type, something every day. I must. I will.

Anyway, I guess I wanted to focus my thoughts on what it means to be the older brother. What is my role as an older brother, my responsibility. When do I push and when do I let go? This is very difficult for me because as an older brother, I see nothing but potential in every man I come across, sometimes it’s even my inner self looking at me and saying; Wow, that guy has so much potential, but he’s throwing it all away. If only he listened, if only he stepped up to the plate, if only. Seriously, wake up already.

As a brother, i’m going to protect you. I’m going to fight. I’m going to give 100% till have nothing left but often times if not many of the times, that little guy does not deliver. It’s failure after failure, disappointment after disappointment and finally it just comes to a complete stop, I hit a wall and their nowhere left to go. I”m completely blocked in from any voice I have left. Every time I have to say is now buried deep within the creases of the walls surrounding me. I’ve been blocked in and I stand waiting patiently for the next move, good or bad.

So what next, what is their left to do but to pray. To pray that everything will work out. Pray that the next time I give advice it  does not hit me upside the head and really hope that just something, if not one thing would just sink in.

 

To be continued. the first set of words are out but not the tiredness has finally hit me.

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